How to tell you are an Oldster …

Remember when you were young? And you actually wanted to be older? The following is a list of signs that might indicate that you’ve got your wish:

  • Your grandchild have to teach you how to record your favorite show
  • You know all the answers but no one wants to hear them
  • An afternoon nap just happens
  • You find you have developed an affinity for sherry and shredded wheat
  • You have to invite a friend over to tell you where you left your glasses
  • You know you have three children and a dog – you’re just not sure which one is named Toby
  • You tell people exactly what you think of them – because you can!
  • You are no longer able to read the phone book, menus, or your watch but there is no chance you will admit it
  • You would rather drive than drink
  • You have eaten an early bird special
  • You still carry cash
  •  You and your teeth don’t sleep together
  • It takes two tries to get off the sofa
  • You actually look like your passport photo
  • You have your mother’s hands and your grandmother’s voice
  • You require a fire extinguisher to put out your birthday cake
  • You are on a first name basis with your pharmacist
  • You have the guts to ask for the senior’s discount
  • Getting “lucky” is finding a parking spot near the mall entrance
  • What doesn’t hurt – doesn’t work
  • You finally get your head together and your body stars falling apart
  • You make grunting sounds putting your trousers on
  • You no longer understand how to order a cup of coffee
  • The really old guy holding up the line at the grocery store sat next to you in high school

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