by Bob Lowry
At that point, it was as if a fire had been lit inside me. I realized all the years I had wasted thinking I was a believer in a very real God. I realized I knew nothing but wanted to know everything. An intense period of Bible studies, reading all I could get my hands on, small group membership, and a hunger to go to the service each Sunday to hear more began. It continues to this day.
Did this realization happen as I moved through my 50’s and now into my mid 60’s because I began to grasp my mortality? I don’t know. Was my openness to the message due to a feeling of an incompleteness in the life I had led to that point? I don’t know. Did God break through my shell of flawed humanness? I don’t know. What I do know is the faith that I found is real to me, and it happened a few years after I retired.
So, how do I explain my faith in a world that “worships” only what it can see, taste, touch, and control? I can’t. That’s sort of the point: if it could be proven then it wouldn’t be faith.
I will be the first to admit I may be wrong. I may believe in something that isn’t real. I may be just kidding myself so I can feel better about the fact that a human life is short and then ends with no one remembering you within a generation.
But, I choose to believe that my beliefs are real. I see too many evidences of my changed life and an incredibly complex world that could not have possibly been created by chance. Regular readers have often commented on the generally positive attitude of this blog and my encouragement for those beginning the retirement journey.
I choose to believe that my faith is what causes that attitude and that positive outlook. If you have been turned off by religion, find it odd to believe in something that can’t be proven, and think I am way off the mark, I understand.
I was there less than ten years ago. Thank, God, I am not anymore.