Letting Go


“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”

I was talking to one of my friends this week about a situation with their life partner and I realized something – accepting appreciation is more about the ability to let go than I thought.

I had always assumed that if I appreciated someone that they would realize that I was acknowledging their efforts in a positive way and my life would be in harmonic balance. Not so it seems.

When I really stopped and thought about it, I suddenly realized that unless the person that being appreciated is in a frame of mind where they are able to receive this positive attention, it literally falls on deaf ears

Oddly enough, it turns out that accepting appreciation without arrogance or a sense of entitlement literally requires a leap of faith – you actually have to make yourself vulnerable and trust that the person offering the appreciation does not have manipulative or ulterior motives. If you do not, your self-protective instincts will dismiss it as being “insincere” or “irrelevant”.

That strikes me as such a shame – why is it that the gift of appreciation, which we all subconsciously crave, is one that is so hard to accept?

I am not sure I have any answers for you on this; but I do have a thought: The next time that you have to decide whether to trust someone’s intentions, or to cynically reject them, at least consider taking a leap of faith.

We have all gone to great lengths to learn to mistrust each other (to build walls around ourselves to protect ourselves from getting hurt), why not consider becoming strong enough and secure enough to let some of them go?



4 responses to “Letting Go

  1. This is a beautiful reminder for us seniors..in reality most have a warp idea that when you give an appreciative comment you want something from them or laughing at them. And yes why is it too difficult to accept the compliments..is it because we are so focused with what’s negative in us rather than enhance ourselves.. we seemed to see whats wrong, finding faults forgetting that there are many positive attributes we have. As for me i always look at the beautiful side and enjoy what God has created in us. It is true beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  2. What you are describing is the person with avoidant attachment–he or she can’t receive affirmation because they don’t trust others. There is also anxious attachment, where the inability to receive affirmation is based on the person’s belief that he or she is not worthy of the affirmation, that the other person perceived them inaccurately.

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