No I’m not Deaf by Bill Storie


By Bill Storie

“No, I’m not deaf. I’m not stupid. I’m not even senile.”

So, why do they insist on talking to me as if I’m past my sell-by date?

I get on the bus, I go into the shop, I go to get gas, I buy a coffee … and they all look at me as if I can’t work out how to go the toilet myself (OK, well let’s not go too far !!).

  • I’m still aware of what day it is (almost !!).
  • I’m still aware of where I’m going to.
  • I’m still aware of how to get home.
  • I’m still aware of who annoys me !!!!!

I accept that one day I may be absent-minded and act stupidly, but that day isn’t this day. So back off.

There are countless examples of daily occurrences where my abilities are called into question. Whether I like being old or not is neither here nor there. I am this age, get used to it. I say that to myself and anyone else who cares to listen to me.

I don’t feel that my faculties are less-tuned these days, although sometimes appearing to have not heard someone speak to me has immense benefit…. not to mention pleasure. Wind them up I say.

I think probably things like this technology and social media stuff is about as bad as it gets. How often have you gone into the computer shop to get something …let’s say a “diddly-bop” …. which you are perfectly aware is what you want ….. then for some young kid (shaved once, maybe twice, in his life) to start to work on you.

I was on the phone a few days ago with the Help Desk (who thought up that redundant phrase ???) with one of my technology service providers. I said, “I have been with your company for 20 years and I have never known you to have ever done that.” The reply ….. “Sir, things have changed in 20 years.” Say what !!!!! The fact that I have used their service every single day for 20 years seems to have gone above heads “Well you see Sir … that is old technology. These days we have “State-of-the Art” Apps”….. what does that actually mean, “State-of-the-Art”…? Another redundant phrase dreamt up by some “YUpstart”. No-one who uses it knows what it really means.

They reckon that “Sir” is senile.

I digress.

These folks thinks I still use the old wind-up-and-speak telephone. Just cos I’m old enough to have known Alexander Graham Bell doesn’t mean I can’t use a cell phone. I may forget where I left it, but I can use it….. if I can ever find it again !!!

A couple days back I bought some gel stuff to go in my eye. Paid a lot of money for it I might add. I bring it home to squirt some in. Could I get it open? Could I hell. Impossible to work out how to twist the little pointy cap thing off. I’m starting to think scissors. Nah. A pair of pliers? Nah. That would ruin it completely. Now, I’m ticked off. My eye is sore. I’ve spent a lot of money. Yet I can’t get the damned tube to open. Ok, so now I admit. I’m feeling old.

I intend to write to the president of the gel company and advise her/him that one day he/she too will be old, and will experience the annoyances I had to endure. Don’t they ever try this stuff on us old folks before they sell it ? Maybe only young kids (under 55 !!) suffer sore eyes. “No, don’t treat me like I’m an idiot. I tell you that if I couldn’t get it off then some old lady with much less strength in her hands will NEVER get it off.”

They really do need to think about us old folks more.

We are not just the “Depends Generation”

By Bill Storie

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